as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
