if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
