Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize