You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So vagazzling was a success
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
