no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
