As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
