just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
