Sry I called you an 8
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
