the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Green mimosas i think yes
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
