I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
