We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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