at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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