I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
