Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
