I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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