Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize