I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My vagina just clenched in fear
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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