I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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