He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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