you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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