Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
