i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
