If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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