no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
