dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The air taste purple.
Randomize
