I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
