quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
