real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
