Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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