i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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