This girl is more easily done than said...
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
