I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
