I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
