This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
