Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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