A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
