Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
