Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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