Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
