First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My vagina is officially offended.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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