At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
