She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
