I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
