Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
