and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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