So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize