Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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