if you like me you must not know who I am
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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