Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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