It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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