youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
