just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
