Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just gargled with NyQuil
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
