We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
