I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i barfeds in our rink
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
