Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
