This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
you made out with another girl for some wings
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
