We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I understand Curling. That high.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
