He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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