Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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