She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
