whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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