dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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