We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
