I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize