and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
