Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
