apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
