When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize