Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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