I like to think it a success when the cops are called
they need to just BURY HIM!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
