your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I didn't notice because vodka
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
