theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
