You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
